April Fool's Day Asshole of the Year Award

At this time of the year, April Fool's Day, the Waldo J. Cartridge foundation gives an award to the biggest asshole. This year, the foundation unanimously crowned George Clooney not only the biggest asshole alive today, but also the biggest asshole in the history of the world. In fact, he is such an outstanding asshole that he was decided to epitomise the term asshole, be a perfect textbook definition of asshole, and may be up for disscusion as wikipedia's entry for asshole re-direct. Other names mentioned were Osama Bin Laden, Barbara Streissand, Jane Fonda, Michael Moore, Hilary Clinton, Adolf Hitler, and Satan, but Clooney was chosen as far more of an asshole than any of these. One member of the Waldo Foundation, John Guttenhiemer, is fond of Clooney and voted against the choice, but dots were connected proving he was not eligable for voting. Guttenhiemer is a former Communist party member in the USSR. Hint hint. Wink wink.



George Clooney is such an asshole, I just can't get over it. He is just so damn arrogant it disgusts anyone who has ever met him. In fact, doctors have noticed a GCSPS, or a George Clooney Sparked Puking Syndrome, all across the great state of California. Asshole thinks he can be a smartass about polotics. Son of a gun doesn't even live in the United States! He inhabits a villa in Italy which he bought from John freaking Kerry! And now he's on the news because he sold some stuff from award shows to help the hurricane. I want to make this clear: George Clooney gave absolutely nothing to help the hurricane. He simply gave a basket of worthless crap to a random person who in turn gave money to the hurricane. As Jesus tells us, the greatest gift is not from the person who gives the most money, it is from he who makes the biggest sacrifices. That person is certainly not George Clooney. He was probably going to throw that stuff out anyway. I wouldn't take that Oscar garbage is you paid me!

The Waldo Foundation has decided that next year there will be no Asshole award, as no one could possibly uncrown this year's winner. This is an asshole for the ages.