Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy Holidays!

This is my last post of 2006.

This needs to be special.

Very special.

First, I need to say Happy Holidays to my readers in all corners of the world! I enjoyed a very Merry Christmas here in Abu Dhabi, and hope for a happy new year.

Although there was no snow, I visited Ski Dubai for the first time and was very satisfied by what it had to offer. My family and I were easily the best skiers on the hill. We were blasting down those slopes at speeds the other skiers couldn't even comprehend. Most of the other skiers were visiting from the UK, and had no understanding of the high-speed American sport of skiing. They told me that while there was some skiing in the United Kingdom, "it really isn't all that brilliant," and clearly inferior to that of the States. There are two different ways down the hill: normal and experts. I went down with the experts. The whole thing is pretty strange. With the walls and ceilings, it just seems weird to ski down the slope. After a while, I got used to it, and proved my skill by going 0 to 200 mph in 1.6 seconds. (I made those numbers up)

We've got the cousins from Connecticut visiting us here in Abu Dhabi. They, unlike my fellow bloggers, were not too scared to come here. Our 2006 will be cut short. Because of the time difference, 2006 will be about 8 hours shorter than 2005, as I started it eastern time and am finishing it Abu Dhabi time. What a gip! Oh well. Depending where I am a year from now, I might get a longer 2007 than ever before.

This is the Waldo Files first Christmas. Me and the Waldo Files have been celebrating by listening to Billy Mack's (Bill Nighy's) Christmas tunes and watching excellent Christmas films like Love Actually and Muppet Christmas Carol. I would recommend both. You can find Nighy in the bottom left hand corner. He got famous this summer from playing Davy Jones, but his best performance is clearly in this film. Be sure to watch it.

My Christmas was very nice. I recieved many gifts, and gave lots of...love. While love doesn't cost anything and requires no thought or time to give, it is extremely important and the best gift one can possibly get. I celebrated Christmas at St. Joseph's Church. Maybe I will describe the church in a later post, and maybe I won't. Just wait and see.
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So now 2006 is at an end. It's been a great year for blogging: lots of wars, peace, initiatives to save people, initiatives to make movies, happiness, sadness, laughter, crying, and of course, plenty of important and thoughtful opinions bouncing around the internet.
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So what will 2007 bring? Who knows. We'll have to wait and see.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Don't Kill Saddam Initiative: Failure


I regret to inform my loyal readers that the Don't Kill Saddam Initiative has reached mission failure. Not to my surprise, Saddam was hanged early this morning for crimes against Kurds. Don't Kill Saddam Teammates: We have failed.





Although the mission met an overall failure, there were some substantial victories along the way. We have found several allies in our quest to not kill Saddam.




Pope Benedict XVI and his Vatican crew spoke out against the Saddam hanging. They called the execution "tragic" and predicted it would result in only more violence in the Middle East.





Countries such as Italy, Brazil, and Russia also spoke out against the killing.


So even though we've failed in our initiative, at least we know that others have failed too. We've failed together.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Yay!


Horay! It's December 2nd, UAE National Day. It was thiry-five years ago today that Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan al Nayan founded this wondeful nation. That's Sheikh Zayed himself on the picture I made on paint. (Zayed died in 2004.) There's also an Emirates flag, and that other stuff is supposed to be fireworks and a shinging light. Okay, I admit, it's no masterpiece, but I threw it together at the last minute. And its a good thing I'm getting in on the celebration. All the way down the Corniche, there's locals sitting on top of their cars, revving the engines and shooting off the fireworks. Happy birthday, United Arab Emirates.
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(Note: There has been a high concentration of posts this weekend. I'm catching up on recent apathy. Make sure to read anything you haven't seen yet.)

Friday, December 01, 2006

James Blonde


This is the second post in a day: a first for the Waldo Files. Or at least, the first that I remember. I just felt that there were two really important stories that I needed to give to the world. Is there anything wrong with that? Good! Here we go:


I saw Casino Royale. Very nice film. Daniel Craig had his first outing as James Bond, and did pretty good. He got to ride this delicious Aston Martin on my right, and emerged from the waves in a skin-tight blue speedo. Very sexy. And what's more, there were ladies watching. Do the math. 007+ladies=...let's not go there.
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The picture was pretty good, especially compared to recent Bond adventures. Even a sexy Irish 007 couldn't keep Halle Berry and invisible cars from destroying everything! Daniel Craig's cars are very visible. They are also very sexy. The creepy Euro baddie was as bad as creepy Euro guys get, and that whole inhaler/bloody eyes business was as sinister as Ernst Stravos Blofeld's pet kitty. Daniel was a pretty swell pick for the role, although Ewan McGregor got the first offer. The Scottish actor politely declined. He suggested that the role would link to his career, and possibly set him up for typecasting in the future. Here's what I don't understand: if he's so scared of these things, why on earth did he do Star Wars? The six-part saga is at least as silly and cheesy as 007! And come on, 007 is actually sexy. That's one thing going for you. Alec Guinness may have made Ben Kenobi sexy, but Ewan? No sir.
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Daniel really brought sexy back. He fit pretty well into the tailored tux, Aston Martins and over-welming ego. Craig gave us Bond as a man of few words, but as one who enjoys a good kill. Very nice. While his acting was certainly there, the only thing lacking was the presence. It was hard to feel like we were watching James Bond. My solution? Blast Monty Norman's James Bond theme the whole way! That would certainly get the point across. No better way to tell us he's Bond than to stick the guy in front of that magic music for three and a half hours. The only time we actually felt used to his Bond-ness was the final frames when he gives us the sign-off: Bond, James Bond. Then they play the Monty Norman music.
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They did a good job setting us up for a new series. Bond just got his license to kill, and M turned out to be Judi Dench back then too! Maybe she died, turned into Bernard Lee, and then came back to life again. One really clever move: remaking CIA buddy Felix Lighter into an African-American. Felix's coolest appearance yet.
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That's all for today. Make sure to stick 007 comments on this post, and Snoop Doggy Dogg comments on the previous one.

Snoop Doggy Dogg: Busted


Snoop Doggy Dogg has been arrested for the third time in three months. What's wrong, Snoop? Just tired of losing air time to artists of lesser greatness like Chamillionaire, or possibly lost in a mid-life crisis? Snoop attempted to smuggle a boton on a plane, (always a big no-no), and now he's got charges full of weapons and narcotics. What gives? Snoop is obviously feeling falling victim to his impulses. Or perhaps, displaying what its like to be a TRUE gansta'. Either way, we're all gonna miss you while you're serving time. But remember: to us, you'll always be the one and only, ego-double-g. Do you want some of this? Snoop's bail has been set at $60,000. Together, we, the proud Snoop Doggy Dogg fans, can chip in and send him back to the streets. Just mail a deposit to my house, and I'll organize it and send it back to Snoop.