Updates: My Life

Enough about entertainment for a second, let's hear about something everyone wants to know about...ME! My life. I have a few good things to say, so listen up.




(Book about someone else's life.)

HAIRCUT

I got a new haircut yesterday. Say goodbye to those sexy red locks, I'm riding short! I got it at Dick's Barbership, the greatest barber shop this side of the equator. My sideburns are gone. No more Dan Ayrord look-aliking. But I do look a tad bit like a soldier, and that's always a good thing. I've always heard women like men in uniform...is the hair part of the uniform? It's also recently been decided that my hair is much better than Bobby M! My hair rules!

ABU DHABI

It's exactly a week now until I depart for Abu Dhabi. En route, I'll stop in Boston, Amsterdam, and Ireland, where my ancestry hails from. You see, I have lots of Irish Pride. I got the red locks and the green ties and sweaters. My great-grandmother's house is the hot spot in the city of Dublin, mostly because my great-grandmother lives there. I'm sure it will be an excellent visit and I'll get back on track to Abu Dhabi right away. Since it's such an excellent route, I decided to make this map in "Microsoft Paint." It kind of reminds me of those Indiana Jones movies.

Came out a little fuzzy. Oh well.

CAMP

I'm now the conseller at a kids camp! Yes!

MOVIES

I saw Nacho Libre the other day and had mixed feelings. While I thought it was a good film, I think it's definitely worth waiting to see on video. Jack Black was back, and much as expected, the best scenes in the film where when he did some singing.

Speaking of waiting to see on video, I rented Kung Fu Hustle last night, which was definitely worth it. A hilarious movie with tons of laughs and tons of action, Hustle stars and is directed by young filmmaker Stephen Chow, who has some pretty wierd ideas about what's normal and what's not. I saw the film with long time friend Zhou Ling Chen, of Orient Under Warrant: The Blog. Zhou is a scholar of Chinese culture and literature and was deeply moved by some of the zen and buddhism present in the film. I highly recommend Kung Fu Hustle to any of you out there who like laughing and seeing people with axes getting their ass kicked. Excellent!

Honorary Achievement Awards

First I'm going to start us off with a couple Honorary Achievement Awards which don't require voting. So sit back and enjoy the achievement.

GOOD SAMARITAN

The first award for Good Citizenship goes to Ken Jennings of Jeopardy fame. Jennings won over 2 million dollars on the show, the biggest winner in Jeopardy history, including Sean Connery. But it wasn't the amount that earned Ken this award, it was what he did with it. Ken Tithed. What do you do every week after earning a beefy paycheck? Tithe. What is your obligation to the church? Tithing. What is the age-old custom that has long gone out of style? Tithing. It is true, there are few in Hollywood anymore that tithe. But this book-smart geek straight from Normalland USA gave 10% of his jackpot to his own Mormon Church. Wow, Ken! That's over $200,000! A well earned good citizen award, given to a man who knows no greed.

THE BEST FILM OF 2005

In 2004 I saw 9 films in theaters. In 2005 I only saw 2. So I have to admit, I'm not qualified to name nominees I haven't seen. So I might as well go ahead and just give it to Narnia.

For those of you who haven't seen the film, it's about four young siblings who find a way into a magical parallel universe, where beavers talk and Jesus goes by the name of "Aslan." Battling against never-ending snowstorms and evil witches, the family must help Aslan restore good to Narnia.

Narnia is also known for it's parallels to mythology, the bible, and the World War II it's set in, and works on multiple levels. It's based on the series of books written by scholar C.S. Lewis. (Which I also highly recommend.) Good reviews and hardcore fans boosted the film to immediate success. However, it was snubbed at the Oscars in favor of gay cowboy flicks!

Since Hollywood big macs refuse to give cred where it's due, it is my responsibility as Chairman of The Waldo Awards to ensure it wins at least something. Now I just have to get my nephew a role in the sequels...

Congratulations to both winners!

Waldo Awards Season

Yes, it's that time of year again. Time for more...WALDO AWARDS! The most prized prize in Hollywood, many respect the true honor that the Waldo is. Only those who truely achieved have succeeded with the Waldo. Only the real gifted, those who mean something, those who are something. Those who are great. And those are few. So sit back, and be ready to vote. Rememer, Waldo Awards are chosen from a select panel of judges that may include Edgar Smorrison, JVarn, Zhou Ling Chen, Antonio Frederick Worthington, R. Guns, Fidel Giamatti, Josef Guttenhiemer, and maybe even Big Lee. So be ready to comment. We need you to choose the best. Only the best. WALDO WANTS YOU!

CELEBRATE!

I know Blogspot didn't allow me any pictures last post, so it was most certainly a long and difficult read. This post is a picture follow-up, so make sure you read about my easy and expected victory first. Deal?

PERSECUTION:

LIES:

HYPOCRISY:

THE GUARDIAN OF TRUTH AND JUSTICE IN THE GALAXY:

Okay, okay, so I beat Booby M. But come on, did anyone think I wouldn't?
Yeah, I made that myself. Don't I deserve a bit of fun?

An Easy And Expected Victory? It Was Still Fun Anyway.

Well, your host has won yet another arguement, this one not too intellectually stimulating. It was more of a bye than a win. I defeated "Booby M" (real name Bobby, nickname Booby) of Big Lee's blog on a one-sided debate about the Leonardo Code. So one sided in fact, that some people though the Church hired him to make Dan Brown look like an idiot. It was compared to this man, Jack Bauer, beating a terrorist without a nametag to a pulp. I won with an incredible margin of FACTS to NO FACTS and KNOWLEDGE to NO KNOWLEDGE and STRAIGHTFOWARDNESS to HYPOCRISY. This is all coming from Booby, a man who thought man never landed on the moon, Tupac is still alive, and Dane Cook is funny. Look at some of these bad boy facts:

Dead Sea Scrolls were early Christian documents:WRONG! They never even mentioned the name of Jesus. They were written by Jews.

Leonardo belonged to the Priory of Sion:WRONG! The Priory of Sion began in France in 1956.

Da Vinci was Leonardo's name:WRONG! It means of Vinci, the town he was born in.

Opus Dei has monks:WRONG! It's for lay people.

Jesus's works were recorded by thousands of followers:WRONG! He didn't even have thousands of followers, let alone literate ones.

Jesus wasn't devine until the Council of Nicea:WRONG! Writings about Jesus mentioned him as God from the early fourth century at latest.

Dead Sea Scrolls were found in the 1950s:WRONG! They were found in 1947.

Mary Magdelene was in the House of Benjamin:WRONG! And even if she was, this still wouldn't make her a descendant of David, or royal at all.

And that wasn't all. I also crushed him with a list of Dan Brown like persecution.

Jesus Christ, Church founder: Was scourged and crucified by the Romans just for preaching peace.

St Peter, first Pope: Was crucified upside down in Rome just for preaching Jesus's message.

St. Paul, Doctor of the Church: Was beheaded in Rome by the government, they wanted to crucify him but could not because he was a Roman citizen. Such a cruel and sadistic punishment was not allowed for other countrymen.

St. Stephen, first martyr: Was stoned to death by the Jewish Pharisees, just for following Jesus.

St. Bartholomew, Apostale: Skinned alive by the Armenians for teaching about Jesus.

All of the Apostales were martyred (killed) in cruel and unusual ways except St. John. John was attempted to be killed by being burned in a pot of boiling liquid but miraculously survived.

St. Maximillion Kolbe: Gased to death in the Houlocaust at a Nazi Concentration Camp. He just visited the prisoners to pray with them, but volunteered his own life in place of a Jewish family.

St. Joan Of Arc: Burned to the stake because she claimed an angel had visited her.

These are just some examples of what people like Dan Brown have tried to do to our church, but have all failed. They can kill us, persecute us, and torture us, but they cannot change what we believe. It is interesting to note that in a church constantly persecuted, martyrdom is the ultimate honor.

Meanwhile, Booby didn't respond to my comments, never read any non-fictional material, and claimed victory TWICE before I even had a chance to comment! Ah! And I thought Dan Brown was an annoying, uninformed pain in the ass!

He also didn't know what a fact was. He said dates were opinions! And he didn't know what hypocrisy was either. I gave him some examples.

"You say one thing, and you do another. For example, saying that I need a history lesson.You also said that you believed in what the Da Vinci Code says, then said that it was too ridiculous to believe. Or it might have been the other way around. It has changed several times.You said I had a closed mind, and have never consulted a source other than the Da Vinci Code.You said I needed to be more tolerant, and insulted 2 billion people just because of what they believe.You said that Dan Brown got his facts straight, then said the Code was too ridiculous to believe, then said that dates were opinion.Who's keeping track here? Well, I said you were a hypacrit, then proved it with fact."

Wowie! I'm sorry you all have to hear this. For more please read the comments on my and big lee's blog. And yes, I'm actually telling you it's okay to go there! I'm sure you won't fall for anything!

So yes, I'm sorry I put you through all this, and yes, there is a moral. While silly persecuters come up with ridiculus arguements and claim victory after being wrong, it's just how Jesus predicted. He said that we would be the most persecuted religion ever, and we are. Can you imagine if Dan Brown wrote a book insulting the Jews, Muslims, or any other church? We're the safest target for angry people like Booby. And that just might be a good thing. While he persecutes us, he doesn't realize he can never win. Martyrdom is the highest honor in our church. We can always win. It's kind of interesting, but I find his weak and ridiculous arguements have made me all the better for it. Not only do I enjoy giving him a solid thrashing, but in a church where martyrdom is honored and persecution is guarenteed, I think it's helping me out. So persecute all you want. Do your worst (it's not that bad anyway). I'll win in the end, and I'll be all the stronger for it.

PEACE TO ALL THE WORLD, AND I PRAY FOR FREEDOM FROM PERSECUTION FOR ALL! WE WILL ALWAYS WIN. FOR ALL PEOPLE OF ALL CULTURES, RACES, AND RELIGIONS, FACTS ARE FACTS AND THEY ARE THE SAME FOR EVERYONE! PERSECUTION IS PERSECUTION, WHICH IS ALSO THE SAME FOR EVERYONE! AND KNOWING THAT, WE WILL ALWAYS WIN!

Nerd Squad-6-9-2006

We have a few things to take care of this afternoon. Four, if I count correctly. We'll deal with them in an orderly, quick and clean manner. Shall we?

6/6/06!

I bet thousands of bloggers posted about the fact that the date was 666 the other day, and I pride my originality so won't spend too long. Think about it this way: historians think that our yearly calender was screwed up. They think Jesus was born in around 6BC. So this isn't really '06, or at least according to Jesus. Also, Caeser changed our months and days, so that isn't really 6/6 either. Use this as a chance to brush up on your bible. Read the book of the Apocalypse, written by St. John the Evangelist before even his Gospel was written. None of this Code nonsense. Read the real deal. I did.

The picture is of St. Michael the Archangel throwing Satan into the fires of hell, which St. John saw when transported into the future. This is when the antichrist comes, traditionally bearing the number 666 as his symbol. Don't worry. We win in the end.

The next matter of business is something else that thousands must have blogged about: the murder of this man. Abu Musab al-Zarqari, al-Queda leader in Iraq, and a man just as wanted as Osama bin Laden. The price on both heads was the same: $25 Million. Al-Zarqawi was believed to have personally beheaded at least two American hostages, as pictured behind one of the masks above. You can see him without the mask to the left. It is my belief that al-Zarqawi was the most evil man in the world, much worse than any other terrorist in recent years. He killed hundreds of innocent people in a discrimination-based insurgency. And he did it all in the name of God. What an amazing breakthrough to have this devil of a man taken care of. Sent to a much worse place where he can find out what it's like to have men in masks cut your head off on live TV. Say high to St. Michael for me, Abu.

We have even more good news this afternoon, happy to welcome two new bloggers! Not one, but two. My old friend I met on vacation, Zhou Ling Chen, has set up a mystery of a blog, which is honorable at it's worst. Look for Zhou in the links list, or at www.orientunderwarrant.blogspot.com.

And last but not least comes my friend from Church and Golf, JVarn, J-Vizzle to pals, and one smoke of a freestyle rapper. Look for him in the links list or at and appropriate www.jvarn.blogspot.com.

Good luck to both new additions to the blogging community!

The Hair in Wallace and Gromit

I just added a new DVD to my collection this morning, a fun filled flick fest featuring all three classic Wallace and Gromit shorts. This includes "The Wrong Trousers," "A Grand Day Out," and "A Close Shave."

We all know that W&G is great because it matches up Gromit with worthy opponents in a WWE style head-to-head, (and also because it is hilarious, high quality filmmaking) but there are other reasons.









Grom v. Feathers.

This brings us back to a recurring Waldo theme:

HAIR

Hair makes the world go round. There's definitely a HARE in the new film, The Curse of The Were-Rabbit, but there is also HAIR. (Haha...get it?) While Wallace has none and Gromit has fleas, check out the sweet clay locks on these bad boys:

Lord Victor Quartermaine: Anyone would be a fool to hair-off verse this king of cool. Only problem?: He cheats. We all know Vixta' wears a false tupee, and is really as bald as Wallace, or even my Uncle Robby.

The true nature of Vixta's Hair is unmasked.

Since Blogspot often does not like to cooperate and leaves me stiffed for pics, I am renaming this post: The Hair in Wallace and Gromit-Installment I. This way there will be plenty of room for more later.

Rocky Road for The Da Vinci Code

Well, as if I had spoken too soon, the Code is up to no good. And this time, there's reason to celebrate.

The critics hated the Code. And here I was, this poor guy with liberal media conspiracy theories up to his eyebrows, figuring of course they'll like it, they hate Jesus.

But as the Code unfolds, as this pic from Google Images clearly illustrates, things turned out quite differently. It was a bad movie. No matter what it said, who it hated (Jesus), who was in it (Hanks), it was still a bad movie. Hence the equation:

Tom Hanks+Ron HowardxDan Brown-Jesus=A BAD MOVIE!

Come on you guys. This isn't Calculus. A movies website recently posted reviews at 6% good. OUCH! And yes, it did get some good reviews. Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper liked it. The New York Daily Post liked it. Let me jog some memories.

Roger Ebert. Yeah, that's that fat guy who sits on the sofa and does nothing. The guy who danced on the grave of Gene Siskiel.

Richard Roeper. Yeah, I know him, that's that guy who sits next to Roger Ebert. He said that every American over the age of 12 should see Farenhiet 9/11 in theaters.

The New York Daily Post. Oh yeah, this is my favorite part. These are the bozos who back in 2004 said that The Passion of the Christ was anti-semetic. They started the whole thing. This paper! I swear! You can tell they really do hate Jesus.

Next matter of business. Ian McKellen, a favorite actor of mine who happens to be openly gay, has let me down. Ian got mad at Catholics because of our requests for a "fiction disclaimer" at the beginning of the film, and called for a fiction disclaimer at the beginning of the bible. He just successfully poured a middle eastern country worth of oil on an already heated fire.

THE WON'T LET ME PUT ON ANY MORE PICTURES AGAIN! NOOOOO!

Oh well, I'll finish it now.

Next business: Albinos. An albino culture group got mad at the code. They claimed that there's too many evil albinos in movies, from that guy in the jail in Princess Bride to the dreadlocked freaky twins in Matrix Reloaded. So it's not just Catholics...I also want to raise another point, this time involving our fine friend Ian. Maybe the code is anti-gay. They cast a gay person as the bad guy...WHOOPS! I just spoiled the end for everyone at home! Oh well. No point in reading the book now.

Next business: Leonardo. Just a thought, but does anyone else realize that Dan Brown made a mistake in the title of his book? Any Italian or art scholar knows "da Vinci" is not Leonardo's name but the town he is from. It's like calling me "of California." Da Vinci means "of Vinci."

Next business: The Box Office. The Code is hurting here too! X3 has already made more. Code brought home an astounding 77 million on opening weekend, the thirteenth most ever. But X has a record-breaking 120, warping the Memorial Day record and a total FOURTH on the all-time list. Not bad you guys. And even after Singer left as director.

24 Finale

+
-








=

to
!





The 24 Finale was intense this Monday. It marked the death of Vladmir Bierko and Christopher Henderson, two terrorist big macs, all before the first commercial brake. Wow. President Charles Logan was FINALLY arrested, and much to the smiling faces of First Lady Martha Logan and Mike Novick, the good guys won in the end.
Or at least near the end. The ultimate twist of the season happened in its last two minutes, when Jack Bauer was captured by none other than the honorable nation of China. Why would China hate Jack? A relieble Culture that spawned the likes of Tommy Chong and Moa Zendong, I certainly don't see how this happened. Maybe they'll knock some sense into Jack. Either way, they're probably bringing him here:








I'll have to wait until next season to find out what happens. January 2007. Unfortunately for me, I'll be in Abu Dhabi, and may miss the action. I suppose I could always try to position my satalite, and possibly pick up some Jack in the late hours of the night.

Since I borrowed this equation technique from Edgar "Scanman" Morrison, I would like to remind everybody to visi his blog, which can be found in the links list, "sweet spots."

Plagerism

After several recent charges of plagerism on the likes of Big Lee and Fidel Giamatti, I've decided to put myself in the absolute clear. I would like to thank Google Images. Through Google, I was able to post pics from Paul Giamatti, to George Clooney, from 3 Six Mafia, to bad hair, from the Oscar, to Abu Dhabi. Thanks Google guys. We've worked splendidly together. I'm glad to give credit where credit is due.











GOOGLE IMAGES IS ILL YO!

Check out this freestyle rap:

"Google Images is ill, dawg it's in the mix,
That's where I go for my blog, to get my kick ass pics!"

Rob Gun

It seems my blogging influence is spreading, as I now am pleased to announce a new member of the blogging community. Rob Gun (fashizzle) of www.robgunblog.blogspot.com is a good friend of mine, as well as a pretty ghet ally, useful on today's street. The two of us are quiet the dynamic duo when it comes to freestyle rap.









You can't stop him in his Air Force Ones.

The Time 100

This may well be a tad overdue, but as a loyal reader of Time Magazine, it is my duty to analyze their choices.

This year, I was dissapointed. Al Gore, Al Franken, come on, these are just lists of Al's that they like. While last year's list was refreshingly un-celeb dominated, I'm afraid that just isn't the case. Both Best Actress Winner Reese Witherspoon and Best Actor Winner Phillip Seymour Hoffman are on the list, Will Smith is on the list, Puff Daddy is on the list. Or whatever his name is now.

The worst was Dane Cook. He's not funny. At all. Really. Dane Cook is not FUNNY! He lacks the distinctive and unique voices of his comedian peers. Sienfield's whine, George Carlin's high-guy vibe, Paul Giamatti's nosebleed, Owen Wilson's surfer boy. Ben Stiller's geek, Ellen DeGeneres's man-woman, Jack Lemmon's oldness. In place of all these amusing dialects, Cook sounds like he has this cold, this perpetual, never-lifting cold, this cold that goes down and kills your throat, makes millions of audiences hold their necks. And whatever happened to the whole "100 people who shape our world" garbage? Who's world has Cook shaped? How many people in Africa have been influenced by him? How many souls has he touched? ZIPPO!

The one exception that I am really proud of is the inclusion of United Arab Emirates Vice-President, Dubai guy Shiek Mo. Mo's the man. He's been building incredible skyscrapers, man made islands in the shape of the world, and now Earth's tallest building. Under the momentum of Mo, Dubai is now home to one whole THIRD of the world's construction cranes. Thanks Mo. You've turned my new home into a gigantic, adult playground. I think it's fair to say he's certainly accomplished a lot more than Dane Cook.

The End of Hair

Now that I'm ending my long series of posts on hair, I'd like to consider comments from my pals. This is like American Idol, we actually take into account what you say. Speaking of American Idol, Ryan Seacrest is another guy with pretty bad hair. And another one I thought of later was Donald Trump.


His hair is all fake and wierd colors and tupee. It's like he needs attention and he doesn't know how to get it. And Lindsay Lohan, my stars, she has bad hair. But it's been about 15 colors, so I can't get an up-to-date photo. Shame.

The only problem with this American Idol stuff is that only one person actually voted. Scanman, you just won a barrell full of street cred. We did, however, get some good feedback nonetheless. We learned from Antonio that Princess Liea's hair is great, but she's not cutting it good-looking-wise. And everyone seemed to like Aslan's hair. I disagree with the blogger who said that if he were a man, he would be hot. If Aslan were a man, he'd definitely be Jesus. Bobby M liked all the hair. Typical sissy Bobby M. Conan's hair was well recieved, and Hanks's dissed. Everyone liked redheads.

So after all this, what we really should have gotten out of it is not to diss TH or pray to Aslan at night. Not to dream of Liea and forget the 5th of November. What I want from you guys is simple. Next time you're walking down the street and you see hair, think about it differently than in the past. Not too much to ask, I hope.

I would also like to take this time to announce that I finally figured out how to put your Blog Buddies on the sidebar. Check them out, in alphabetical order and everything.

More On Hair

For those of you who read my latest hair update, I promised more. Well, I'm not the kind of man who gives up on a promise. More of the worst:


I'm sorry, wizard fans but the hair on Harry's best friend, Ron "poser" Weasley are growing proof that the devil can hit even Waldo-style orange locks. This shame of a hair-day gives a bad name to wizards, redheads, the English, kids, Western Civilization, and all humanity in general.





And last but not least comes this ridiculous display of feminitity that calls itself Tom Hanks. Yep. Code is bad. Hanks is worse.












Oh, and if manes count, add this to the good list.








I would also encourage others to follow Scanman's footprints and vote for the best and worse. We can make hair into a game. And if we can make something as serious as Hair into a game, we can make anything into a game! So long for now. See you late-hair.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE!

As Saturday May 6th was the birthdate of George "stolen Oscar" Clooney, it's about time I say something nice about him. We can be civil here at the WaldoFiles. So I decided to do good and give cred to those who do good.

George did good the other day. He's been trying to raise money and aid for the Darfur genocide, and I respect him for that. Good job George!












He also shares a birthday with the greatest filmmaker who ever lived, Orson Welles.

HAIR

While blogging about Tom Hanks and The Da Vinci Code, the subject of hair came up. I looked back at my profile "random question": describe your hair from your last haircut. I answered, "red-headed and sexy." yes, hair is very important. But you see people with good and bad hair all the time. I've come to realize that hair is most important for fictional characters, who might excell or sink through those long, inspiring, hair close-up shots or character descriptions. Here's the best (and Worst) hair in the movies:

THE BEST:

The best hair of any character of course belongs to Princess Liea of Star Wars fame. Just look at it! It's so great! It also inspired the imaginary girlfriend of millions of 1970s nerds.






This is another guy with pretty cool hair. It has this reggae, Bob Marley dreadlocks look, while being Pirate and stuff at the same time! Not to mention the fact that the new movie is coming out this summer. I don't do advertising on blogs. Very much. Notice I didn't name the character or film.






Two characters with hair, one good, one bad. People who know me can tell which one without thinking. Miles Raymond (Paul Giamatti)'s hair is brilliant. Quite simply, it's so bad, it's good. He has that sweet roundhead look while being geeky, inspiring, thoughtful, and signature Paul. Jack (Thomas Hayden Church)'s hair, on the other hand, is a different story. It makes him look like a little kid! Come on Tom! You can grow better than that!






There's this late night host, an Irish-Catholic guy, who's hair reminds me of myself. Conan O'Brian might not be fictional, but his hair sure is dreamy.




THE WORST:





I feel sorry for poor Natalie Portman. After an outlash of George Lucas's imagination, she was tricked into making her hair some kind of Freak Sideshow Museum. And come on, George, you can't outdo Princess Leia's hair. Stop trying for a repeat. Here at the Waldofiles, we don't allow rip-offs.


It's a real shame when someone makes the list twice, but Natalie's display truely gives all hair a bad rap. The problem here? There's none! There is no hair! What the heck! And Hugo Weaving's locks are no walk in the park either.

We'll be back with the best and worst hair, yet again blogspot has denied me more pictures! Seven's enough tonight, but I was hoping to include Harry Potter and friends, and one last lash out at Tom Hanks from the Code. Untill next time!

GOOD LUCK! 好运!

It's true. I will lose 50 pounds, make it big in Hollywood, marry an exceptionally attractive Catholic woman, etc. Last night I ate out at a Chinese Restaurant, Chen Yang Li. It was simply delicious. When we recieved our fortune cookies, I grabbed one quickly. You see, I always get excited with fortune cookies, I am a collector of fortune cookie messages. I then saw that one member of our party was without a cookie. I am a generous man, so I volunteered my cookie. Wow. Look at that sacrifice, a true act of charity. A fortune cookie collector who volunteers his own cookie. That was when my dad, who was also eating with us that night, volunteered his to replace mine. Wow. That's a real dad. So when you get a cool message it's one thing, but after an amazing sacrifice and a gift from a real dad, then it's magic. I opened the message and it read:


"Your dream
will come true."

"Lucky Numbers 3, 7, 12, 24, 27, 33"


HOLY COW! Not only does this message bear the magic of sacrifice and real dad, but take a close look at those numbers. They include 3, the traditional "magic" number, and 33, the age of Jesus when he died and ressurected. What a great cookie! This is no ordinary message either. Most sound a little more wisish and long and stuff. This one was succinct, right at me, and clear to the point. My dream will come true.

The Sentinel and The Tub

Last night, I went to see Kiefer Sutherland's new film, The Sentinel, With blogging buddy "Big Lee", who found himself quite unable to order Regal Cinema's famous "Tub" of popcorn.









Lee was subject to hysterical laughter while an attractive consession stand woman eyed him in disgust. I, quite frankly, don't see what is so funny about the Tub. I can see plenty of things delicious about it, as we refilled the Tub twice. Free refills. Ah.


After seeing the film, I decided to take on a project never attempted before on the Waldo Files: a genuine film review. Buckle your seat belts, it's coming right at you.


WALDO'S TAKE ON THE SENTINEL

The Sentinel, staring Michael Douglas and Kiefer Sutherland, may be an enteraining film, but it's certainly no 24. The casting of Sutherland in a supporting role as Special Agent David Beckenridge may have caused fans to get their hopes up. I would like to tell those fans that Sutherland's role isn't big, and his performance is nothing special. Every scene with Kiefer and a gun is pure magic. Unfortunately, much of the focus is on Douglas, the hero the audience doesn't really want to be a hero. And don't expect Kiefer to wind up together with Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria. IT DOESN'T HAPPEN! I know I was disapointed.

The life-like handling of the Secret Service is interesting to anti-terrorism buffs like myself, and the opening scenes featuring legendary President Ronald Reagen are a treat. I guess the film plays well to conservatives, an uncommon but much-treasured trait for a Hollywood project. The characters, however, are shallow and undeveloped. We all wanted to know more about Beckenridge and Special Agent Pete Garrison (Douglas)'s relationship, and are left wanting more. The ending fight-scene is also very anti-climactical. Oh well. Always room for a sequel.