Some Very Special News

RAMADAN

It's the holy month of Ramadan, the celebration of the revelation of the Quaran from the angel Gabriel to the Prophet Mohammed. This also means fasting from sunrise to sunset for all Muslims. Even non-Muslim Arabs are expected to refrain from eating outside the home, so people like me can rule out a fast food stop or sip of water anywhere a fasting Muslim might be. This is really quite the sacrifice, partially because Arabic food is so delicious.

Ramadan also means shorter work and school days here in the UAE.


INTERNET
I'm now connected to the world wide web!

More posts!

More comments!

More Waldo J. Cartridge!

This also means that the Waldo Awards will be resumed before long. I apologise for the hiatus (look it up), it seems as though I hadn't timed them wisely. But now that I'm all settled in, I can resume coverage of more trivial matters. I'll also warn you all to look out for Waldo in the acting awards...all 61 of my lines will be uttered with perfection.

Everyone should also notice the addition of "Joe's Place", a new blog on my sidebar. Joe is happy to join the blog world and we should all be appreciative of his well-timed coming.

24

Speaking of trivial matters, I've now finished all four previous seasons of 24. That's 96 episodes. This has led to an even more intense inpatience for Season 6. It looks like it's going to be the best ever. James Cromwell has recently been cast as Jack's father!

11:59:59,...11:59:58,...11:59:59,...

12:00:00.

The Blog War

There was a blog war! Although I wasn't involved much, I did read about it, and was disgusted at the level of anger and betrayal displayed by those I left as good friends. The war was started by Michard, but the one I feel most sorry for was Josef D. Guttenhiemer, who was under constant attack by his so-called "friends." You should all be ashamed of yourselves. I've been involved in blog conflicts before, don't get me wrong. But those were about ideas. These attacks were personal and cruel. I maintain the belief that you were all wrong. Wrong to fight, wrong in principle, and wrong to backstab eachother, waiting but two months after I left.

*Michard, you were wrong to start this war in the first place.

*Big Lee, you were wrong in your personal attacks. This displayed a lack of character.

*Chambers, you were wrong to give up so easily. You stooped down to Big Lee's level. You also surrendered without putting up a fight.

*Scanman, you were wrong because you never posted.

And so now I look to JVarn and Paul of Paul's Rants. The three of us were never involved in this savage fight. Can we find it in ourselves to forgive? Will we be able to pave the path of peace and let this behind our backs? I hope the answer is yes, for I fear there is more to come. In fact, Big Lee has already got mad at Chambers again, just because I called him first.

And so now there is only one answer for peace. And that is me. I, Waldo J. Cartridge, take it upon myself to maintain peace and happiness in the blog world. Why? Because my blog is the best. I threaten retalliation on whoever tries to start another war. And trust me, you won't be able to come back after what I throw at you.


WHY WALDO?

In the opinion of just about everyone from the blog ring, my blog is the best. Let's take a look at why.

-Mine is the oldest, the first blog in the blog ring.

-I have mastered the technical issues, including comment titles and links lists.

-I have the most posts. (I think.)

-I have by far the most profile views. (Over 1000.)

-I have the most interesting post material.

-I have been updating without even having access to the internet. Some bloggers with this luxury don't post anyway.

So if the other bloggers I know desire peace as much as I do, we will all put this behind ourselves and look to the blogging future. It's about time we refocus our gaze and care more about the larger world than ourselves.

Now that the war is over, I still have a few questions. Where was Paul of Paul's Rants during all of this? What was the "atomic bomb" that ended the war? Maybe I will find the answers, maybe not. Either way, it's about time to take a break and appreciate peace.

-Waldo J. Cartridge

My Illest Party

I was a guest at the illest party ever at the ambassador's place the other night. Jamie Foxx, Jason Bateman, Chris Cooper, and Jeremey Piven, who are all over here filming the new movie The Kingdom, were also invited. Since there were only about 70 guests, I got to meet them all. Here's some thoughts.

JAMIE FOXX: Academy Award winner for Ray, Jamie Foxx isn't exactly one of my favorite actors. The other night, my opinion of him didn't really change.

Armed with six or seven bodyguards, Jamie is one of those paranoid cowards who make the US look bad over here. He has two taste-testers. TWO! What kind of self-respecting terrorists would waste their time trying to kill Jamie Foxx anyway? They've never even heard of him.

He was more of a unit than a man, arriving late with full retinue. His girlfriend, Coffee, and he made for the back of the party as soon as they could, followed by a mob of guests wherever they went. They weren't very friendly and spent the afternoon playing chess. A kid approached one of the guards and the dialouge went something like this:

"So you guard Jamie in the states too?"
"Yes."
"Did anyone ever attack him and you needed to brush him up or something?"
"I can't talk to you, I'm sorry, I'm working right now."

Working? All he has to do is wear sunglasses. After the crowd quieted down, I approached the Foxx myself. I smoothly slipped up to the game and said, "I'll play winner." Jamie didn't get it. He just shook his head and said "no. No." I then told him I was only joking an d said I'd wanted to meet him. I shook his hand and told him my name. It was only for a fleeting moment. No pictures, no autographs. I wouldn't say I really got to know Jamie. The other guys, I did get to talk to.

Jason Bateman: Star of Arrested Developement, Jason Bateman is a familiar face for Television buffs. He came to the party like everyone else. No security, no taste testers. If I didn't know his face I would have thought he was just another guest. Jason spent most of his time at the soda table, from which he must have grabed about seven huge cups of Coca-Cola. The rest of the time he was in some long in-depth conversation with another guest. I got one of them.

I approached Jason pretty quickly after he arrived, but came back for more later. I told him my name, shook his hand, and went on to ask for advice for my role in the play. Hey, this guy gets paid to act, he must have some good stuff. He asks me what I want advice on, the acting or the poker. I said I was pretty much set on the game, I am a pretty lucky guy. Jason suggested I should write my lines on the cards and just read them off on stage. I was outraged. What if I picked up the wrong card? They are getting shuffled by the other cast members. What if when Oscar was talking about how he was inviting the girls up for the night I read my line at the end of the first act: "If you need anything, call me." That would be bad. Very bad.

That's when who looked like Jason's date told me I reminded her of him. Pretty cool, huh?

Chris Cooper: Chris Cooper, another Oscar winner, is one of those guys who everyone knows but not everyone remembers his name. I'll try to refresh your memories. He was the dad in October Sky, the horse trainer in Seabiscuit, and Conclin in The Bourne Identity. He's also starred in The Patriot, Jarhead, Syriana, and many other movies.

Chris spent most of the time under the shade looking at the pool, and just like Jason blended in very well. I got to talk to him for a long time too, and he encouraged me in my pursuits in Hollywood. A very classy guy.

Jeremy Piven: Jeremy Piven, a recent Emmy winner stood out not by his guards, but the way he looked. A real slick character, I remember Jeremy from his role as the gay clothes salesman in Rush Hour 2. He's also appeared in Old School, Cars, and many other movies. I got to talk to Jeremy for a while as well, but unlike Chris and Jason, he actually gave me serious advice about the play. Jeremy suggested a very natural aproach to playing my character. I was glad for the help. My brother Robby asked him who the best actor he ever worked with was. He told us about Will Ferrell, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino and many others.

Overall, my night chilling with Jamie, Jason, Chris, and Jeremy was pretty cool. Jennifer Garner is also in the movie, (as Chambers pointed out) but finished all of her filming in Arizona. Most of the movie was filmed there and the filmmakers only plan to stay in Abu Dhabi for about a week. I'm glad to post about my experiances with the actors, and hope many other future posts can be about similar topics.

The Post

I've been getting some comments. People want me to post. I don't know when I'll be getting the internet, so it took me a while. So long in fact, that Chambers is giving me death threats. I've been living in the Middle East for three months and the only death threat I get is from Chambers. Shame.

I've decided that since this may be my only post for some time, it might as well be good. I've decided not to post about things either everyone knows about or that noone cares about. For example, I won't post about the fact that Steve Irwin is dead or that I got a new haircut or that I've watched about 87 hours of 24.

I need to answer some questions. Chambers asks: "did you go to the [Burj Al Arab]?"

Answer: Yes. I've been to Dubai twice, and visited both the Burj Al Arab and the waterpark right next door. I stayed in the Jumeriah Emirates Towers, another famous hotel. (above).

I landed a role in Neil Simon's The Odd Couple, as one of Felix and Oscar's good friends, Roy. Should be pretty good stuff.

Speaking of acting, tonight I'm set to meet a very famous someone, who's over here filming his new movie, The Kingdom. Look it up on IMDB and see who it is. I'll post if I get to talk to him. Chances look pretty good that I'll get to exchange at least some smalltalk. He'll be at a party I'm attending tonight.

I hope to post again soon.